The real top 10 list - Things all new moms & dads need

Not the regular top 10 that will see you your local toy store and baby centre. No, this is the REAL top 10 list of things you actually need.

1. smart phone - preferably an iphone, but any that have a big screen will work - this is not so you can text, email and facebook until your heart's content (well, ok, maybe it is) but it also works as a GREAT flashlight for middle of the night feeds, nappy changes and temperature checks. Apps also serve as a great distraction when you're out and about. Cost = priceless!

2. wine and/or chocolate - i lump these together as some people don't drink and others don't like chocolate. and for those, like me, that like both, it is safer to save one for after 6pm (you decide ;-)...OK, so those days when you it's not even 7:30 am and there's already been three meltdowns (2 of them yours), there is nothing like sinking your teeth into an exquisite piece of dark chocolate (or really, any kind of chocolate will do). And once it's 5:30pm and those meltdowns have not stopped and you are covered in snot, poop, food and some unknown substances, there really is nothing like sitting down with a glass of wine. Truly, every mother's best friend!

3. facebook/twitter accounts: face it - you're not going to be going out like you used to. At least with FB and twitter you can still keep your finger on the pulse and see all the events that your single/married without children friends are doing. And of course, they can look at all the pictures you post of your gorgeous kids (or not)

4. a good therapist - seriously - you're going to need it. I don't know too many men/woman that can take the constant erosion of self and thoughts of self-doubt that comes with being a parent. And I don't have a mother to add to those levels! I love my kids more than anything else in this world, and for the most part they're pretty good, but good lord, they wear me down. Having an impartial, objective person to talk/vent to is absolutely priceless. Because face it, there's only so much whining your friends/partners will take. Hire a professional.

5. Make friends with the local teenagers. You are going to need a battery of babysitters. Trust me, even your parents will get sick of looking after your kids at some point.

6. A cleaner - again, the cost = priceless. You will spend more time at home than you ever thought possible and the mess that will be created will be beyond your wildest dreams. My bathrooms smell like urinals - and my son actually pees in the toilet. Yet still, my bathrooms smell...While I'm not exactly sure why this is, after a visit from the cleaning fairy the smell is gone (at least for a day or two). It really pays to have someone come, at least once a month, to clean every corner of your house, from top to bottom, all at once. It's a great feeling to walk into that house.

7. Put your child's name on wait lists for daycare. I know, you don't want to go back to work. All you want to do is gaze into the eyes of your beautiful child and be there for every teeny tiny little change or developmental milestone. And of course, no one could do as good of a job raising your child as you. I know. But you know, there will be days that you will want to go back to work. Trust me. There may even be weeks and months that you have that feeling. If you don't have your kids on a wait list, it becomes really hard for you to go back to work. But if you have done all the research, have them on a wait list for *the best* care centre, going back to work is always an option. And of course, you can always turn that spot down should they call and you really and truly don't want to go back to work, or have just one day a week where you can go pee by yourself. It's always good to have options. Just sayin'.

8. A good hairdresser. I mean a really good hairdresser that you trust. Preferably one that works long hours. You will have days when you have been spit up on, pooped on, bit, kicked, used as a kleenex and poked and prodded. There will be days when you will barely recognize yourself in the mirror for the puffy eyes and blotchy skin. There will be days when you clothes, yes, even your fat clothes, won't fit right. Those are the kind of days when you need to get your hair done. Get it cut, coloured, styled. It really doesn't matter. Just being out of the house--without anyone tugging at your pant leg or screaming in your ear--and being pampered is the best thing in the world. And really, who doesn't feel better about themselves after visiting the hair salon?!

9. A gym membership at a gym with a creche. I don't care if you hate going to the gym. I don't care if you don't even know what to do at a gym. It DOESN'T matter. Gym's with creches are your best friend. Especially if you find one with a steam room and sauna. It doesn't matter *where* in the gym you are, you just have to be in the building. Heck, you can spend the whole time at the gym's juice bar reading a book or sleeping in the locker room. You'll usually have at least a whole hour to yourself and the cost is usually minimal. Worse case scenario you may even get in shape, or at least counter some of the calories from the wine and chocolate ;-)

10. The Entertainment Book - and USE it. I know the books are only $60 and are bought to support your local insert-good-cause-here and usually end up collecting dust or are used as a door stop. I say use it as an excuse to go to the hairdresser, call up that local teenager and go out for a lovely night out with your partner. It's amazing how much better food tastes when someone else cooks it and cleans up after you.

10 reasons why it's good to have children later

I tried to write a list on the perils of being an older mother, but kept on coming back to reasons why it actually isn't such a bad thing. So here you go: 10 reasons why having kids later in life isn't such a bad thing:

1. you don't care that you don't get to out to clubs any more. Been there done that.

2. you don't care that you spend most of your days in daggy clothes.

3. you've proven yourself as an academic/career person and are keen to take a break from it all.

4. if you're lucky, most of your friends procreated before you, so you can get all their hand-me-downs, making the whole thing that much less expensive!

5. you don't mind spending heaps of time on your own (well, with small baby, but that's really kinda like on your own, especially when they're new and sleep a lot).

6. you don't care what other people say or think. You've been around long enough to believe in yourself and trust your instincts.

7. you're not afraid to ask someone for help. you have enough faith in yourself that you know you're not a failure if you need a little bit of help.

8. you've been around long enough to know the traits in yourself that you dislike and aren't afraid to try and change them (if for no other reason than it really sucks seeing them mirrored back at you but via a 3 year old)

9. kids keep you young. my brother once told me that you're only 'old' when you have kids in high school. so some 40 year olds may be old, but you're not ;-)

10. when you're old they'll be young enough to take care of you and not put you in an old age home.

Heatlhy tips

This was one of the winning posts!

As the big 40 is less than a month away, I've been giving a lot of thought on how to be just a little bit healthier. Let's face it, the cards are stacked against me as it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, so these tips are very simple and hopefully easy to incorporate into your life. Notice I say nothing about drinking less wine ;-)

1. Walk instead of Drive.

Sounds simple but it isn't. I know. As a Mom we're so busy and always in a hurry to get from A to B then back to A and then C and on and on until we're at Z. But it can be done. Even if it's a matter of changing one day a week so you can run one errand or drop off by foot. You'll be better for it. And so will your relationship with your child. When you're in the car talking can be difficult, all to easy to tune one other out or fight with the neighbouring sibling. When you're on foot you can stop and talk, point interesting things out, even hold your child's hand. Much nicer than having your hands on the steering wheel.

2. Eat what's on your plate, not theirs.

Again, sounds simple, but it isn't. For starters, I hate throwing food out. Until my brother told me he lost 5 lbs just by stopping his grazing. If you're hungry when you're kids are eating, eat with them, but from your own plate.

3. Don't buy junk food.

I'm not saying never eat any, because sometimes you just gotta have that chocolate bar, ice cream, chips, whatever your weakness may be, and that's fine. Just don't make it easy. Don't keep it in the house. And if you do bring it in, after you've satiated the craving, throw out the rest. Better in the bin than on your thighs.

4. Hug.

Hug your kids and your spouse. A lot. Hugs bring out endorphins. Endorphins are good.

5. Try and include 30 minutes of rigorous exercise a week.

Seems like an impossible task. Then try for 10 minutes for a couple of weeks, then increase by 5 minutes every couple of weeks until you're at 30. Dust off the stationary bike you're using as a clothes rack and put it in front of the TV or in your kids playroom and sit on it...and pedal. Go to the gym you're paying a membership for. Join a running group. Have sex. Do something to get that heart rate pumping so the next time your little ones run in opposite directions at the park, you can catch them both.

6. Worry less.

I just bought the Little Miss Naughty worries Mr. Worry book and was embarrassed at how much I'm like Mr. Worry. Somehow I turned into my worry-wort Grandmother. It's no wonder I feel stressed. When you catch yourself worrying, acknowledge the thought then put it far away and replace it with something positive - like how you're going to fit in that extra 10 minutes of vigorous exercise today ;-)

7. Do less.

We are so caught up with keeping up with the Joneses, shuffling our kids from this activity to the other, working and shopping that we are constantly on the go and feel rushed and stressed. Un-enroll your child from an activity or schedule one less playdate. Slowing down can be hard to do, but once you do it feels really good. You'll feel better and you'll be surprised how the rest of the family will too.

8. Read more.

Where's the time to do that you ask? Turn the TV off and you'll be surprised at how you can find the time. Children who grow up around books are better poised to succeed. Not only do books open up whole new worlds and encourage independent thought and imagination, there's also very little (if any) direct advertising in books.

9. Play outside.

If it's raining, put on rain boots and a rain jacket, and jump in puddles. If it's hot, break out the hose, if it's snowing, make snow angels. You will enjoy the fresh air, as will your kids.

10. Laugh more.

You know when you're having one of those days...those really really bad days and to make it just that much worse, your 3 year old pitches a tantrum in the middle of the mall and has an accident in his pants (and being the 'bad' mother that you are, you don't have a change of clothes for him) and all you want to do is run away and hide (and scream). Try laughing instead. Really, just laugh. Because in all honesty, the moment is probably just as funny as it is frustrating. And laughing automatically changes your attitude from stressed to the max to almost manageable. People might think you're a bit loopy, but I'm sure there'll be at least one Mom or Dad out there that gets it. Who knows, maybe they'll start laughing along with you.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Tropicana Trop50 blogging program to be eligible to win 6 free Juicy Rewards points and a $30 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

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