Throwing out the book

When Little Mr. Man was born, I did everything by the book...ok, it's not like there is ONE book and I didn't do everything by the book (lets be honest, I hate being told what to do!), but in terms of his naps and bedtime routines, I was, well, pretty inflexible (understatement of the year) and insisted that he have all his naps at home in his cot and be home by 6pm for his bedtime routine. Oh yeah, I was a barrel of fun!!

You see before he was born I'd heard all these HORROR stories about babies that didn't sleep. and to get them to nap or sleep for the night a ridiculous routine would have to be followed, which usually simply ended with either mom or dad crawling into bed (or sometimes cot) with them.

Now, if you know me, you know I NEED sleep (again, another understatement). I could easily sleep for 12 hours, wake up, have a snack and go back to bed for another 6 hours without any trouble (i've even paid to sleep, it's true, click here). But as you know, kids change all this. So, after hearing all these sleep horror stories I was VERY worried that my first born would be a non-sleeper and I'd become one too. So, in my defense my rigidity around his sleep routine was for a reason - the preservation of self.

Thankfully, the little guy has always been a pretty good sleeper, whether my adherence to his schedule contributed anything, I don't know...but lets just say it did!

Now of of course, it's much harder (READ: IMPOSSIBLE) to adhere to a similar schedule with baby no. 2. I mean you could, but with no back yard there's no way LMM would allow us to spend as much time as necessary at home to adhere to a routine for Little Miss. She's now 15 months and for the most part is also a pretty good sleeper. I think that's because as far as she's concerned, she is not going to miss out on an opportunity to sleep - she's never quite sure when the next opportunity is going to come around.

My point - throw away the damned book! I stressed so much over the silliest things with LMM and while I loved being a mom and believe it or not, even thought I did a good job, I never enjoyed it without abandon. And really, there are so many more things to worry about than whether your baby is napping at the right time in the right place!! I'm glad that there's heaps of parenting advice out there. Not only does it give me things to argue about but having tricks and tools of trade is always beneficial. It's when you loose yourself and stop following your own instincts is when it becomes troublesome. I think that's partially what happened with LMM. I'm much happier (still worry WAY more than I need to, but heck that's genetic ;-) and so much less stressed.

The price of sleep

How much does sleep cost? Well, in my house, it runs around three hundred bucks a night.

With two young children, having a good night's sleep usually means something around 6 hours of uninterrupted shut eye. Or if you're really desperate it means going to bed when your kids do, around 7:30 pm so you can get sleep in the double digits!

But no matter what you do, you will be woken up. Whether you've had 3 hours or 12, early morning will come and with it dirty nappies, runny noses, screams, hollers and chants of "I'm hungry" or some other ridiculously loud, barely comprehensible chant. The idea of leisurely waking up and enjoying some quiet time in bed before starting your day? Ha! Breakfast in bed seem like a good idea? Ha! Idea it shall remain. Quietly sipping your morning coffee whilst reading the morning paper? Ha! Another "idea" that will remain just an "idea", or so I thought. Until I had the "idea" of checking out and checking in. That is, checking out of my house and checking in to a hotel. For some, this might seem like an extravagance that's just not worth it. However, for many of you, I'm sure you are thinking "now why didn't I think of that!".

It's really quite simple. A mini-holiday. 24 hours of freedom. 24 hours to do with as you please. I choose to sleep for most of them. 16 of those 24 hours were spent in a glorious king-size bed with my eyes shut and drool escaping from my mouth. You can probably tack on another couple of hours in that bed, as I enjoyed an exquisite breakfast (exquisite in that it was made my someone else) and read a book, a couple of magazines, a newspaper and watched some TV, all in that very comfy bed...the whole time, undisturbed. Can you say, "heaven"?!!

If you are ever stuck for a gift idea to ask for, I suggest ask for a voucher for their favorite hotel. If you want to get a deal check out wotif.com. They offer last minute hotel deals in most large cities. Or just check out the hotel website. I've found very little difference in the price, and in fact, many hotels will match the best price you, especially if you're doing a last minute booking.

A few tips on making it a memorable and worthwhile getaway:

1. cab it - for starters, parking at hotels is expensive, and there's something indulgent about being picked up at your house, suitcase in hand, and getting in the taxi, waving good-bye to your loving (read screaming) family

2. don't plan your time away - that is, don't plan your hubby's time with the kids. He's a big boy, he can figure it out. Part of the joy is being plan free and that includes, not worrying about what the kids and Dad are doing.

3. pretend you really are on holiday. Check out the city. Spend an hour in a coffee shop. Do with your time whatever it is YOU want. DO NOT shop for your kids or husband. It's about you!!

4. indulge - be it an hour in the bath / a facial / massage / something from the mini-bar - just do it. it's your holiday!

5. turn off our phone - and DO NOT call to check in on the family. it's 24 hours. I'm sure they'll be OK!!

6. The brand of hotel doesn't matter. Just make sure they have comfy beds and black out blinds. The Westin boast heavenly beds, The Hilton brag about their pillows. A quick Google search shows that hotels of all stripes offer special "rejuvenate" packages - from special soaps in the rooms to special 'quiet floors' - your very own mini holiday is out there.

7. indulge - (I know I've already used this heading, but it's important...deserves to be used again!) - don't skimp on the food or the wine.

8. ignore the guilt - if you're anything like me, you'll start feeling guilty before you reach the hotel in the cab. Don't. You deserve the break. In fact, you deserve a longer break!!

9. kick back & enjoy!

10. if you can, extend for another night ;-)

Now, I slept my mini-holiday away and am very happy about it. What would you do on a 24 hour mini-holiday?

Sleep...

I never really paid much attention to sleep before having kids. I mean, I used to get a lot of it. Probably more than your average person. I really really really like(d) it.

But with children sleep becomes something different. And I'm not even talking about my lack of it. It is often the first thing people will ask you when they see your newborn. "Oh, what a cutie" they'll say, promptly followed by a "is she a good sleeper?".

Listen in to to 3 conversations at a playground and at least one is bound to be about sleep.

With the newborn, I don't like to talk about her sleeping habits, lest I jinx it.

This superstition is a hangover from my first. Without fail, as soon as I would mention that he was a good sleeper, we would have a week of lousy sleeps. So now I just nod and smile and quickly change the topic when Little Miss' sleep enters the conversation.

As for the Little Man, his sleep, well...he's entering that stage where if he naps for too long during the day, he's ready to stay up past my bedtime at night. This is a sad stage for Mommy...a really sad stage. To say that when they both nap at the same time is my favorite time of the day might sound unloving, but it's true, it is my favorite time. I love the quiet. I will just sit on the couch and enjoy the silence. I mean I never have enough time to actually get anything done, so I just sit there for the few minutes of quiet and enjoy. But now I will have to start monitoring Little Man's sleep, and wake him up after an hour or so. Those few minutes of absolute silence may end up being only a few seconds. It's either that or kiss my own 9pm bedtime goodbye!