Secrets from the kitchen

I recently came across an article about Ellen Pompeo and her approach to motherhood. Or more accurately her approach to feeding her baby. It's lovely that Ms. Pompeo vows not to feed her daughter (Stella Luna) any junk food. I commend her. And really I felt the same. With my son, I even suffered through watching him throw countless meals on the floor, that I'd worked so hard to prepare. It really wasn't until I ran out of time. Really. Just plain ran out time and never managed to figure out how to get more of it. Sure it would be lovely to make home made meals with fresh, organic broccoli and organic meat. But there are two main problems.

1. The time issue. like I said, I ran out of it. If I were to prepare each of my children's meals from scratch, then I would never get to play with them, clean the house, go to the gym, get sleep, surf the net, update my blog, read a book, answer an email. Ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, I may be able to find the time to surf the net, in the name of finding healthy recipes.

2. The other problem is that my kids don't like my cooking. Well, they do sometimes, but it's really, really, really hard to compete with dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and Mac & Cheese. I've made my own mac & cheese. Several times. Each time it was just thrown further and further away.

Now I still shudder when I see what I feed my children. But I also want them to grow. And if I don't offer them those Dino bites and mac & cheese at least once a week, I'm sure they'll fade away! I do however add a fresh vegetable on their plate and most nights it gets eaten.

PS. Ms Pompeo: Cheerios really aren't that bad. Coco Puffs, you might want to stay away from.

What do you feed your children?

10 reasons why it's good to have children later

I tried to write a list on the perils of being an older mother, but kept on coming back to reasons why it actually isn't such a bad thing. So here you go: 10 reasons why having kids later in life isn't such a bad thing:

1. you don't care that you don't get to out to clubs any more. Been there done that.

2. you don't care that you spend most of your days in daggy clothes.

3. you've proven yourself as an academic/career person and are keen to take a break from it all.

4. if you're lucky, most of your friends procreated before you, so you can get all their hand-me-downs, making the whole thing that much less expensive!

5. you don't mind spending heaps of time on your own (well, with small baby, but that's really kinda like on your own, especially when they're new and sleep a lot).

6. you don't care what other people say or think. You've been around long enough to believe in yourself and trust your instincts.

7. you're not afraid to ask someone for help. you have enough faith in yourself that you know you're not a failure if you need a little bit of help.

8. you've been around long enough to know the traits in yourself that you dislike and aren't afraid to try and change them (if for no other reason than it really sucks seeing them mirrored back at you but via a 3 year old)

9. kids keep you young. my brother once told me that you're only 'old' when you have kids in high school. so some 40 year olds may be old, but you're not ;-)

10. when you're old they'll be young enough to take care of you and not put you in an old age home.

Tried & true classics

Every month my beautiful Donna Hay magazine arrives replete with food porn to shame the best of us. Utterly amazing pictures depicting the "special made simple" selected to tantalize wannabe gourmets.

My monthly ritual is to leave the magazine around the kitchen for a few days, then the dining room table and then the lounge. Notice how each week the magazine migrates further and further from the kitchen. Suffice to say, I don't often cook anything from the issues. At least not in real life. In my fantasy life I do. However, every once in a while, fantasy meets reality and I'll find myself in the grocery store, shopping list in hand getting ready to transform the taste buds of my husband, if not the children.

Unfortunately the only part I am really any good at is the shopping bit. I have made 2 dishes from the latest issue (please note that I skipped over the majority of recipes for all things chocolaty--maybe that's the problem!!) and neither of them turned out. I mean, if we were keeping score, it would be Donna Hay: 2, me: Zilch!

Maybe with her new tag line of "Fast, Fresh, Simple" I may have better luck, but until I muster up the courage to tackle another of her creations I think I'll stick to my trusty favorite Campbell's soup recipes, One Dish Chicken & Rice Bake - a no fail, fast & easy dinner that takes all of 5 minutes to prepare and 45 minutes to cook (add a few extra minutes if you want to steam a veggie).

So tell me, what are some of your secret weapon recipes?

Mommy Mojo

I feel my Mommy mojo coming back. Well, I did, at least for about an hour the other day

I mean I really had it going on. Made goop (cornflour & water, even added some food colouring), had the kids enthralled. No kicking, no screaming, no fighting...for nearly an hour!! It was GREAT!! And then, it was over. The novelty of the goop wore off. I could no longer tell what colour the kids' clothes were from all the 'goop' covering them. And the kitchen floor...suffice to say, 2 days later I'm still finding bits of it. But it sure felt good to feel like I was 'mommy in control'.

That's the problem really. Most of the time, with both the kids at home, I don't feel like i"m in control. I'm more like a really bad referee. You know the kind-- spends most of the time running up and down the field and misses really important calls and the players yell and throw things at. And unlike the referee, there is no end to my game ;-)

The solution: Spending as little time at home as possible and when we are home, breaking out the 365 toddler activities book! Free play is for weekends when Daddy's home ;-)

How do you manage those looooong rainy days at home?

Heatlhy tips

This was one of the winning posts!

As the big 40 is less than a month away, I've been giving a lot of thought on how to be just a little bit healthier. Let's face it, the cards are stacked against me as it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, so these tips are very simple and hopefully easy to incorporate into your life. Notice I say nothing about drinking less wine ;-)

1. Walk instead of Drive.

Sounds simple but it isn't. I know. As a Mom we're so busy and always in a hurry to get from A to B then back to A and then C and on and on until we're at Z. But it can be done. Even if it's a matter of changing one day a week so you can run one errand or drop off by foot. You'll be better for it. And so will your relationship with your child. When you're in the car talking can be difficult, all to easy to tune one other out or fight with the neighbouring sibling. When you're on foot you can stop and talk, point interesting things out, even hold your child's hand. Much nicer than having your hands on the steering wheel.

2. Eat what's on your plate, not theirs.

Again, sounds simple, but it isn't. For starters, I hate throwing food out. Until my brother told me he lost 5 lbs just by stopping his grazing. If you're hungry when you're kids are eating, eat with them, but from your own plate.

3. Don't buy junk food.

I'm not saying never eat any, because sometimes you just gotta have that chocolate bar, ice cream, chips, whatever your weakness may be, and that's fine. Just don't make it easy. Don't keep it in the house. And if you do bring it in, after you've satiated the craving, throw out the rest. Better in the bin than on your thighs.

4. Hug.

Hug your kids and your spouse. A lot. Hugs bring out endorphins. Endorphins are good.

5. Try and include 30 minutes of rigorous exercise a week.

Seems like an impossible task. Then try for 10 minutes for a couple of weeks, then increase by 5 minutes every couple of weeks until you're at 30. Dust off the stationary bike you're using as a clothes rack and put it in front of the TV or in your kids playroom and sit on it...and pedal. Go to the gym you're paying a membership for. Join a running group. Have sex. Do something to get that heart rate pumping so the next time your little ones run in opposite directions at the park, you can catch them both.

6. Worry less.

I just bought the Little Miss Naughty worries Mr. Worry book and was embarrassed at how much I'm like Mr. Worry. Somehow I turned into my worry-wort Grandmother. It's no wonder I feel stressed. When you catch yourself worrying, acknowledge the thought then put it far away and replace it with something positive - like how you're going to fit in that extra 10 minutes of vigorous exercise today ;-)

7. Do less.

We are so caught up with keeping up with the Joneses, shuffling our kids from this activity to the other, working and shopping that we are constantly on the go and feel rushed and stressed. Un-enroll your child from an activity or schedule one less playdate. Slowing down can be hard to do, but once you do it feels really good. You'll feel better and you'll be surprised how the rest of the family will too.

8. Read more.

Where's the time to do that you ask? Turn the TV off and you'll be surprised at how you can find the time. Children who grow up around books are better poised to succeed. Not only do books open up whole new worlds and encourage independent thought and imagination, there's also very little (if any) direct advertising in books.

9. Play outside.

If it's raining, put on rain boots and a rain jacket, and jump in puddles. If it's hot, break out the hose, if it's snowing, make snow angels. You will enjoy the fresh air, as will your kids.

10. Laugh more.

You know when you're having one of those days...those really really bad days and to make it just that much worse, your 3 year old pitches a tantrum in the middle of the mall and has an accident in his pants (and being the 'bad' mother that you are, you don't have a change of clothes for him) and all you want to do is run away and hide (and scream). Try laughing instead. Really, just laugh. Because in all honesty, the moment is probably just as funny as it is frustrating. And laughing automatically changes your attitude from stressed to the max to almost manageable. People might think you're a bit loopy, but I'm sure there'll be at least one Mom or Dad out there that gets it. Who knows, maybe they'll start laughing along with you.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Tropicana Trop50 blogging program to be eligible to win 6 free Juicy Rewards points and a $30 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Trop50 Little Things for Happy, Healthy Living1000 Little Things for Moms from Trop50

Nana's dead and other ways to make your 3 year old cry

So Little Mr. Man started pre-school yesterday. What a momentous day! I think he was a little nervous, but you never could tell, because as soon as he found the box of trains & train tracks he let go of my hand and was off. As I stood there watching him, trying to ingrain the moment in my mind (because of course I forgot my camera AND phone at home), I couldn't help but feel proud of him and sad. Sad for myself, him and his little sister.

You see, it was 6 years ago that my amazing mother passed away.

Of course, being a motherless mother, I romanticize the relationship I would have had with my mother and how wonderful it would have been to share my journey through motherhood with her. Of course, my relationship with my mother was by no means perfect when she was alive, but it had improved greatly over the years and really whose going to fault me for trying to eek out some 'good' after loosing my mom.

Ever since Little Mr. Man's birth I've talked about Nana (my Mom) and tried tell him at least once a week how she loves him, etc. At the beginning, I'd even 'buy' him presents from her, but you know that may just get weird as the kids get older! My goal though is to keep her memory alive as much as possible so the kids have the chance to 'get to know her'.

Anyhow, as I was lighting a memorial candle for my Mom this morning, LMM pipes up and asks what I was doing and of course WHY. I explained to him that I was lighting a candle in memory of Nana, my Mom. WHY? Because she no longer lives on the planet (we were just talking about planets before). WHY? Well, because she died. COMPLETE SILENCE followed by what I'm sure was a QUIVERING LIP. OMG....did I really just make my first born cry by telling him his Nana was dead?! And you wonder why I named this blog "maybe tomorrow I'll be a better mother"...better than "Maybe tomorrow I'll ruin my son's day by telling him his Nana's dead, there is no Santa Claus and the tooth fairy's a hoax"!!!

10 hours later, my husband walks in the house and the first things LMM says to him is "Nana's dead Dada". Oh dear, we're in for a long couple of days!

So tell me, how have you handled the issue of death with your little ones?

Can't believe I was "that" mother today

At Little Man's activity this morning, I was "that" mother. New term, new location (closer to home), same company. As I walk up and see which group my darling son has been placed with, I am horrified...all the other kids in the group looked SO YOUNG. how will these children challenge my son and push him to do his best? It looks like they've only just learned to walk, let alone run, jump, hop on one foot and play t-ball!

Yes, I was that mother, thinking MY child may only have only just turned 3, but he is more suited to being with 3.5 year olds, there must be a mistake. He should NOT be with these children...they're, they're....well...just 3.

OK, so thankfully I was not that bad, but nearly. In fact, had the group leader not (rightfully) shut me down (in less than 3 seconds no less-methinks I was by no means the most formidable opponent she's faced in her years as Sports Leader) I may have taken the issue further. Thankfully she shut me down and I quickly snapped to reason, remembering this is an activity that is supposed to be fun for my son. It is nothing more.

I do hope I remember this little episode and can manage to remain humbled for all his and his sister's years of activities, school, work, friends...well, for all their lives. I don't like being "that" mom!

How do you strike the balance between advocating for your child, wanting to see them excel and be challenged and just letting them have fun and be 3 (or 5 or 10, or whatever age they may be)?