Wallowing

Walking around all day today feeling very sad. Tried to shake it. Finding it hard. Feeling sorry for myself. Feeling all round unhappy. My children, however are the antidote. Their laugh, their hugs, even their screeches pull out of the very sad place I let myself go today.

Today marks the 7th anniversary of my mother's passing. Incredibly, sometimes it's still raw. I think being back in the city where I was seven years ago has brought back a bit more of the bite. I don't know. Maybe it's just the mood I'm this year.

I know that on a day like today, more than ever, it's important to celebrate the life we have and those around us that we love. I know it, but right now I think I'd rather get some chocolate, popcorn and a really sappy movie and just cry. maybe a couple of screams, you know, for good measure. While I don't want to be alone, I don't particularly want anyone to be near me....I do want to be close enough, so that when my kids laugh I can hear it.

I want to indulge my feelings of melancholy. Is that so bad?

How do you deal with those times when you want to wallow.