Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tears of joy

Scary Mommy & Soy-Joy have a contest going on right now on JOY. In fact, the contest ends in but a few short hours, and I'm still struggling with what to say and how to say it. Here goes!

I noticed a number of entries in this contest all have a similar theme...the little moments. It got me thinking about an article I recently read in the NY Times about how things don't really make us happy, but rather it's all about experiences. Holidays or meals shared with loved ones (or maybe even just 'like' ones ;-) - joy and happiness come from experiences and not designer jeans. Ya don't say?! I could've told you that! As long as I can remember, one of my favorite memories, you know, one of those that give you the warm & fuzzies, involves washing hand (yes, I was deprived and grew up without a dishwasher!). Anyhow, it's true. It reminds of time spent with my older brother. Just the two of us, hanging out in the kitchen and chatting while Mom & Dad relaxed.

Anyhow, all this talk about JOY and I can't stop thinking about sad events. You see, when my mother passed away (6 years ago) I was absolutely devastated and I could not imagine ever feeling happy again. Someone, I can't recall whom, said I was lucky to feel so sad because it meant I had so many happy memories of my Mom. If I didn't have a huge collection of tiny moments of joy then my heart would not feel so empty for loosing her. I know, this post isn't really sounding 'joyful' but stick with me and hear me out...I think it'll turn around.

See, once again my heart is feeling heavy. Thank goodness it is not because anyone's passed away, but rather it is because my family and I are moving back Canada after living in Sydney, Australia for the last 4 years. While I'm thrilled to be moving closer to family and friends, I am sad about leaving all the wonderful friends we've made and lives we've become a part of. Really, really sad!! But, in order to stop the crying, I remind myself how fortunate I am to be feeling this sad. I know, that doesn't make much sense. But it all goes back to being lucky for feeling sad.

So, this odd post on JOY (that seems to talk more about sadness) is really about all those tiny moments. Those silly times shared with friends, that at the time may seem meaningless but at the end of the day (or four years) culminate into one big feeling of JOY. Tinged with many tears of joy

So, even though my heart is heavy with a deep sadness that I will soon be so far away from these friends that I have shared so many wonderful little moments with, I find JOY in having had the opportunity to experience these moments.

“This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you joy contest. Learn more here.


  1. You really put some thought into this and brought a new light to the sadness we feel at the loss of others. If we lose them and our heart's ache, then their is joy in the fact that having them, meant something!

  2. Tiny moments do bring joy. I am sorry for your loss. A mom is such a huge part of a person's life. I love that you have so many wonderful memories.

  3. It's kind of amazing how closely tied joy and sadness can be-- I never thought of it that way, but love your take on this.

  4. Oh I'm sad to hear that you are leaving! Canada is a you lovely country though. I like your friend's advice, it's quite true! :D

  5. Thanks for your comments.

    I should've added: Packing up and getting ready to leave Sydney is hard, and it has been really hard to find any joy, so I'm actually quite thankful for this contest because it forced with me to (to use a horrible cliche) turn my frown upside down and look on the bright side of things (boy, that's two awful cliches, sorry ;-)

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  7. So true, you know I heard a quote today "You can't have everything cos there's nowhere to put it all". I think being happy is realising the value what you've got too! :)

  8. @Lorraine: so true. as I'm packing up all of our stuff and thinking about the number of containers that end up floating in the sea, I realize that none of that 'stuff' is really that important - it's all about the people. and being healthy and having the opportunity to live in really great places, like Australia and Canada! Oh dear, now I'm getting all verklempt!