Friday, February 5, 2010

Maybe tomorrow I won't scream louder than a gaggle of 10 year old girls

OK, so I don't like reptiles. Any kind, whether they are harmful or not. It was only about 5 years ago that I could even say the word "sn*ke". Seeing it in print still gives me the chills.
So you can just imagine my despair when I walked into the house, after taking smelly nappy bags to the bins, to see a baby blue tongue lizard writhing on the floor of my front entrance. My black cat clawing it, tossing it, and flicking it.
OK, I admit that I screamed louder than a gaggle of 10 year old girls running into Hannah Montana. The scream was followed by 10 minutes of swearing and pacing wondering who the hell was going to get this thing out of my house. All this in front of Little Mr. Man & Little Miss and any neighbours who happened to be hanging around outside as we were standing as far away from my house as possible. I'm glad I got dressed before taking the garbage out.

My rantings were interrupted by Little Mr. Man who kept on asking me what was going on. "Why Momma?" "What's wrong Momma?" I tried to explain that his evil cat brought an "outside" friend inside and we had to get it out.
When I finally realized that I had to get the damn thing out of the house Little Mr. Man was going on how he liked the lizard, how it was nice, it was his friend. On the plus side my screams and goings on seemed not to have permanently scarred him into having reptile phobias. But now I had to explain to him that his nice, friendly lizard was most likely dead. That his nice and friendly cat had played a bit too rough with the lizard.
As I'm trying to explain the concept of death to my not-yet-three year old son, I realized that I should just change the subject. Fast. Is 9am too early to offer ice cream as a means of distraction?
So yeah, maybe tomorrow I'll be a better mother and not scare you by screaming at the sight of a baby blue tongue lizard or scar you by telling you how your pet cat just killed the cute little lizard with the blue tongue. And maybe, just maybe, tomorrow I'll be able to pick the damn lizard up from the front lawn so we don't have to see it every time we go in and out of the house. Maybe....

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