Making an effort

I did my hair, put on make-up, even put on jewelry other than my standard,-always have on-necklace. At the outset, my clothes were clean. Throughout the course of the day I have been peed on, puked on, had food spit into my hand, pooped on, kicked, punched and spit on. Needless to say, I'm not so sure why I made the effort and more so, why all the other women in this area do? Personally, I find showering in the morning a waste of time, let alone worrying about putting on clean clothes.

But I digress as my main item for this entry was to rant about the "world's only fashionable hands-free pumping bra" that has apparently won a "major parenting award". I don't even know where to start. Maybe I should start with the pictures. I'm sorry, but they look like they'd be better placed in a porn, minus the funky pump and bottle hanging from the woman's breasts.

But the real issues I have is, was pumping that easy for good ol' Wendy, that she could conduct business whilst pumping? Really? I guess I should add my lack of pumping ability to my list of being a 'bad mother', because I couldn't pump while playing with my first born or even starring at the intended recipient of the freakin' milk. The helpful woman at the Breastfeeding Association told me I had to sit and relax and think about feeding my baby, remove all distractions, just focus and that would help the milk flow. So my question to Wendy and all the good people that gave her the award is "how exactly are you to focus on the task at hand when trying to close a merger or do whatever very important business is being conducted whilst being strapped to this ever attractive, and I'm sure fully comfortable, contraption"?!

And for some reason this whole business about making woman that much more productive kind of bothers me. I don't know about you, but I get very little time to myself and to be honest, when I was trying to express, I savoured those 2o minutes to myself. Ditto for when I was breastfeeding my children. The silence. The fact that I could not possibly do anything other than the task at hand. It was bliss. Because for every other waking moment of my day, I am doing at least 3 things at once, never really having the opportunity to enjoy any of them or give them my best.

Yes, I think it's great that mother's have choices. That Mom's can return to work but still offer their babies breast milk. (Although I don't see many women sitting in their cubicles with the "pump ease" placed on their desk and the milk bottles hanging from their breasts. ) But don't you think you can give these women a break and let them sit back and relax for 20-30 minutes while they express?

Of course, I don't mean to disparage the Pump Ease and it's founders. I agree that anything that can help make expressing milk easier and more comfortable is great. I loved my Medela Swing Pump. It too was designed for the 'working' mother and I tried to take full advantage. While not working in an office, I was working home. I tried playing trains, do the dishes and read stories to my first born all while trying to pump while my second born slept. Sadly, I never had much luck. Maybe I'm an anomaly. Maybe it is possible to work on high pressure deals while simultaneously expressing milk for your baby.

Maybe it's all possible to shower and get dressed in the morning and not end up smelling like a urinal at a high school prom. Just maybe.