Saturday, January 12, 2008

Maybe tomorrow I'll be a better role model

Patience, on the best of days, is not my strong suit. I have, however, gotten much better over the years and sometimes even delude myself into thinking that I may actually be a patient person. I am not.

It is not for a lack of trying. I fear this lack of patience haunt me as I try and be a good role model for my DS.

I went for blood test I know from previous experience, whether in Canada or in Australia, this can sometimes be a trying experience. The labs are usually busy, there are long waits, and if you're not covered by medical and have to pay, the process can take even longer. Armed with this knowledge I thougth i would be smart and head up to the pathologist first thing in the morning when they open and leave DS home with DH, figuring it wouldn't take more than 30-40 minutes max.

Well, I wasn't off by much...I waited for about 50 minutes and in the 10 minutes I was in the lab room discovered that it was all simply too difficult and was asked if I wouldn't mind maybe coming back later. summoning up the bit of patience I have, I smiled and said sure, w hy not...really, DS and I had nothing planned for the day, so spending it in the pathologist clinic would be our activity (if you're not picking up on it, the last sentence is loaded with sarcasm)...

Skip to the afternoon when I return to the lab, with DS in tow. We arrive at 3pm, a full hour before they close. After about 15 minutes of waiting the pathologist emerges from her room, sees me and lectures me about how she closes at 4pm and really I should've come back sooner. I looked at her, looked at DS and smiled, figuring she would understand that my time really isn't mine and really I showed up with a full hour before was I to know that her office would be swamped yet again. I aslo figured, wrongly I might add, that since I had waited for an hour earlier in the day, that perhaps she would take me ahead of the other people in the queue....not so much.

another 40 minutes pass, DS being the super dooper trooper that he is, barely made a cry and really seemed to have fun bouncing on my knee, and trying to make friends with the batteries that were displayed right next to my chair (the pathologist is in the back of a chemist...hence the battery display). Finally it's my turn. But rather than sitting me in the chair and getting my arm ready for the inevitable stab, the pathologist continues to give me grief for not showing up earlier and complaining about how difficult it is for her because she has to tally up the cost for my visit, because I'm not covered by medicare. I can understand that it's a pain, but this is why she asked me to come back later. i thought she might've had time during the day to work all this out, knowing that I was coming. I guess not. After the 5th time of her telling me off because i waited so long to come back i had to ask to just take my blood and drop the issue. I raised my voice, ever so slightly....lost my patience, ever so slightly. But see, DS is only 9 months old. He doens't really know what's going on. I mean he does, and he could tell that things were not good, but it he's still young enough and these situations are infrequent enough that it will (hopefully) not have any long lasting permanent influence. But, give him a year or so and I just won't be able to get away with it.

Am I supposed to miraculously be transformed into super patient person who doesn't mind that 2 hours of her very precious time has been tossed away? I mean the whole day wasn't a complete loss, I did finally get my blood taken, and I did get to spend some quality time with DS, although not in the best of know, most people going to get their blood taken are sick...but, I mean come on...I thought I did quite well, all things considered in keeping my cool...but the point is I didn't and wonder how this will influence DS down the road. Maybe I should sign up for yoga again. Get back to deep breathing and fidning my 'happy place'. Maybe I should just make sure I try and limit the number of instances where DS will be witness to Mommy loosing her patience. But how do you do that when the world is full situations that result in my loosing my patience...oh dear, we're in for a long ride!

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